Pre Trip: Episode Three

I went to Boston and all I got what this awesome swag.

At the end of the last installment, the hero of this story, Ross (that's me), was searching for Boston souvenirs to give to those letting us stay at their place. A tiny offering of gratitude for allowing Pete, Frankenstein, and me to sleep under their kitchen table or wherever I end up. I could sleep on top of and underneath a rock if I need to. Oh yeah, I just name dropped a new member of the group. Frankenstein. Frankenstein is a dog. Not to be confused with the mad scientist that makes monsters from miscellaneous body parts. Not sure which kind of dog, I forget, but will get back to you on that. He's got a lot of energy and will make for awesome company in a car for a bunch of hours. His role in all of this is to get us to see more of the landscape, which he will be pooping on. Expect a picture on Frank as soon as it is possible to get one.

So, you guys weren't a big help with the souvenir search. Not mad, just disappointed. Here I go yelling at you guys again. It's definitely going to be the nature of our relationship. Reddit on the other hand was sort of helpful and apparently Chinatown and Faneuil Hall are the places to go. And I did. Chinatown is confusing as hell and the store owners are totally up your ass. Asking me questions, following me around, suggesting that I buy random stuff. The stores are more like flea markets. In my next life, I'll go back and have shouting match negotiations with screaming middle-aged Asian women over how many shirts I can buy for $11 and promise to get kicked out. Then I'll offer buy the shirts at their original price and be turned down. Then again, in another life, hopefully the stakes for what I'm willing to haggle over will be something of more value than a dumb tshirt. I only dream to haggle over tshirts in this one.

Stopped at Walgreens on State Street afterwards. I don't believe that place is off the hook, for a Walgreens. A cafe and a froyo bar? Stepping their game up.

Faneuil Hall. If you want to go buy some useless garbage at unreasonable prices, you should go to Faneuil Hall. A stuffed animal red lobster that says "Boston" on it, a postcard that looks like the opening credits of a terrible movie, $20 shirts that say "Harvard" on them, $8 magnets. All junk. Don't get me wrong, I bought some of this stuff for a quarter of the price in Chinatown, but honestly, what would you do with any of that stuff but let it hang around for a while and then throw it out? Like, if you didn't go to Harvard or have a family member that went there, why would you want to wear a Harvard shirt? It's unclear to me why we do anything but specific choices like that keep me up at night.

So here's some of the gifts that I picked up for the people we encounter along the way.

1. Two boxes of Red Sox Band Aids
2. Three tshirts
3. Four magnets
4. Boston Bruins nail stickers (For some special laydee)
5. Six shot glasses
6. Red Sox hat
7. Red Sox "Pull My Beard" bumper stickers
8. Red Sox air freshener (that's a gift for the car)
9. Five postcards (thank you notes for those that let us stay)
I got a bit carried away, but, that's what happens when you get me started of something.

There will probably be another post before I head out. The hero's journey begins 6/3. Mark your calenders.
Ross

Pre Trip: Episode Two

Stick and Bindle

Pete and I have exchanged enough of emails back and forth about the trip that I do not have any anxiety about it anymore. Feeling great now. I'm in the pocket as a sport's guy might say - no idea what it means but it feels right to say. We have a vague itinerary which will remain disclosed to anyone reading this. You'll find out along the way, as I will, because places and people are subject to change. What if I tell you that we are going to Tallahassee and then don't go to Tallahassee? Huh? Then what? You'll be heartbroken. Or what if we meet a bluesy busker that lives under a tree named Blind "Chili" Jones? You'll be like, that wasn't supposed to be happen on Day Five! This trip has gone awry! Okay, I'll relax and you'll relax too. What I'm trying to say is that we have bullet points and staples in our trip but do not have anything specific going on in between bullet points. So, there really is a reason to check in on this if you're interested in hearing about it. It's just shy of two weeks, so, it's not a huge trip. I don't want people thinking it's months long. Two weeks hardly calls for a blog but it's the editor's choice that this goes on and if you've got a problem with that buddy, take it up with yourself!

Looking back at what I've already written you've been accused of a lot that you haven't done. I'll dial it back a bit.

Okay, more pre trip stuff.
Packing. If there ever is a time in your life when you realize which items you own but don't need, it's when you're packing. I made a list. I took that list and divided it by three. It fits in a suitcase. So, I have that going for me, which is nice. Irrationally, when packing, I think we all imagine a bunch of situations where we are going to want to have our lucky underwear (you can insert your own favorite article of clothing for this example) on to complete our look for a special evening out, but we really don't need those things. We will do fine without. Besides, anyone I meet on this trip will be perfect. Strangers. Perfect strangers. We won't know each other. We will be defined by each other for who we are in that moment because that's all we know of each other to be. Expectationless (A word that I hope exists). They don't know who I was at my best or worst, but who I choose to be then. I'm going too deep. Let's go back to the surface. Soooo... I packed a bunch of shit that I will use and wear into a suitcase. The end of that.

Along our trip, we will be staying with people that Peter knows through the popular social network for travelers called COUCHSURFING . We will be picking people up along the way and dropping them where they need to go. People helping us, us helping people. A road trip that is cyclically beneficial. While staying at people's places, and meeting those that need rides, Pete mentioned bringing things from Boston: trinkets, postcards, and other things that I can't think of, but generally souvenirs to give to people we meet along the way. Supposedly, that's a popular gesture in the couchsurfing community. I've never bought a souvenir in Boston, so, I don't even know where to go to buy one, but I want these things to be cheap and small enough to fit in my backpack. If anyone has ideas, let me know. I probably need about a dozen and I'd like variety. Help me out on this one.

I'll post once or twice before the trip begins. Any advice for getting Boston themed souvenirs would be a big help. Any advice on going on a road trip would be even more helpful.

Wubbalubbadubdub.
Ross

Pre Trip: Episode One

The Circus

It just became Wednesday, the Late Night Television hours of the morning. The Pete Holmes Show is rolling on in the background. There are six windows open on my Firefox browser and they all contain some abandoned Google search rabbit hole: two bus schedules, Google Map of New York, Target website, this, and or course, Facebook. Six days until I start my trip and the neurosis is here. The plethora of open browsers is the beginning of it and nothing compared to the circus going on in my head. Any more "what if" thoughts and I'll need another suitcase - Which bus should I take to NYC? Gotobus, Greyhound, or Peterpan? Are Peterpan and Greyhound the same thing or in bed together? What's their deal? Gotobus drops me the the bottom of Manhattan, will I find my way to Penn Station? Peterpan and Greyhound drop me next to the train that I need, but what would I possibly do without the internet for five hours? Anyway, Gotobus advertises free internet and so, the decision has been made. Only problem is navigating my way around NYC, which I look forward to so I can hit up some weirdo shops and touristy stuff.

And... I've just lost half of the people reading this by starting in the middle of the story and not the beginning.

Okay, let's start over. Here's an even tackier reintroduction. Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine, Rhode Island, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, Florida, South Carolina, Montreal, Toronto, and the Bahamas. Half of those places, I visited as a kid, so they only count as half credit. Now, I'm twenty-eight and opportunity for travel knocked in the form of my friend Peter telling my friend Ashley and me about how he was going on a week and a half road trip across the country. I was so excited to hear about this road trip that I actually put my beer down and listened as if a prophet was about to tell me the future. About two sentences into telling us about going to Colorado and Utah I blurted out, "THAT'S AWESOME!" And he said, "then you should come." Of course, I retreated from the offer and gave tons of excuses why I could not possibly enjoy myself for the next couple of weeks because that's how I am, but we ended the conversation with "I'll see if I can get the time off."

And then I did. Imagine that? Imagine that when you ask for something and then actually get it? Amazing, right? I am going on a road trip.

My friend Peter, who is the right leg of this traveling pants, is simply put a "why not?" kind of a guy. Peter and I met at the Improv Boston last Summer when we were both taking a sketch comedy class. After a failed attempt at building sketch comedy group when the class ended, we kept in touch and he contacted me about a bunch of sketches that he wrote and based on the Belle and Sebastian's album "If You're Feeling Sinister" - An album and band that I'd never heard of but as my type of people do we say "yes" and figure things out later. He got some people together, I got some people together, and it happened. Here is proof that happened. Exhibit A More proof needed? Exhibit B Now do you suspend your disbelief? Seriously? I try and tell you guys something and you can't just take my word for it and when I provide the best proof that there is you say, "Nope. I don't think so." There's no pleasing the masses unless you're a priest.

Back to 'ole Petey Pants over here, after we did those shows we stayed in touch and then he went on a trip to Australia where he beat up an entire Aussie gang with Paul Hogan. As a reward, he was presented with Melbourne's Key to the City, which he immediately swallowed and never digested. This story and more are available on his blog. Peter's Blog I stole his idea and created this blog for the sake of documenting my trip, and also for the sake of not having to yap about it after to people. Retelling stories every time a new person enters the conversation kills me.

More on the trip in the next one.